Perfection
by CoffeeAtMidnight18
Summary: AU, school fic. Jane sees Maura as nothing short of perfect, but Maura has a different opinion.. Onshot.


AN: mentions of self harm, but it's a happy ending.

-x-x-x-

I stand at my locker, watching as she grabs her books for tonight's homework, even now I can't tell how she's feeling and honestly it's unsettling. Alright, when I became friends with Maura Isles, maybe I should've expected this. I mean she sat alone reading some books that honestly look like they should've been assigned to her by one of our teachers, I don't think she'd be reading them 'for fun' - or I wouldn't be anyway.

I like her.

More than friends like friends, and the only thing stopping me from blurting all this out to her like one big idiot is the fact that I have no clue if she feels the same, and not for the lack of trying.

I don't know why but she's guarded, keeps to herself, even with me her "best friend".

"Are you ready?" she asks, her voice laced with sharpness, something must've happened in last period- she had Chemistry, I had Biology so I wouldn't know. Damn.

"Yeah sure" I casually grab my backpack and walk along side her out of the schools large double doors. Once we're alone, or away from the other huddles of people walking out I approach the subject with her "so, what's up? You seem kinda tense?"

Her eyes flicker down, her teeth graze over her freshly glossed lips and then I hear her hushed reply "Nothing. I'm fine"

I don't believe it, although not many would. I can tell by her body language that something's off "you think after nearly a five years of being friends you can feed me that crap? I know you Maura, you're not okay"

She's looking more pissed off now, I'm pressing the issue, making her discuss whatever's gotten to her. I don't know maybe it's because I'm worried, but maybe it's because I want to see her perfectly positioned mask slip, just a tiny bit.

"It's not- I-I... Jane, can't you see I don't want to talk about this?" the tears gather in her eyes, despite her attempts at blinking them away and I sigh, it's like she doesn't trust me

"Fine. Don't tell me. Carry whatever it is alone- god forbid anyone would try and help you out"

I'm harsh, I swear she even flinches but in the moment I honestly don't care. I'm trying my best to be a good friend, I want to help, but no, I'm getting shot down. Why bother?

The tense silence between us continues for a long time, the majority of our walk home but once we're a couple of blocks away from her building I hear it, her sniffle- she's crying

"Maura? Oh, Maur, don't cry. I-I'm sorry I upset you- you don't have to talk if you don't want too-"

"I-It's not you" she sobs out and I pull her against me, a gesture that would normally last seconds and then be stopped but she accepts it, her arms linking around my waist "Jane, they found out, I-I don't know how, maybe they saw, but they did"

"Saw what Marur? What's happened?"

"Rebecca" she mumbles, her breath hitting my neck. Rebecca Harrington, queen bitch at our school. If I find out that venomous girl has hurt Maura, I swear-

"What'd she do?" I keep my temper in check, I can worry about Rebecca later. I need to focus on Maura now.

"She told everyone, t-they all know- I don't know how she knew"

Her perfectly manicured hands move to her sleeves and she yanks them up, revealing them. The defined, raised lines on her beautiful pale skin.

"Oh, Maur.." I reach out to run my fingers over the healed scars and she flinches, pulling back

"Please don't pity me. I-I.. just don't"

"It's not pity" I tell her, I mean it, it's more being knocked back, how have I never noticed? "Maura, when? Why?"

It's clear she doesn't want to discuss this with me but I can't just let this go, I.. love her. I can't not know.

"A long time- and I, I don't know Jane. Everything's just so messed up.." Maur sighs heavily, rolling down her sleeves "she found out and told everyone, before Mr Edwards got to class the group of them were shouting across the room at me"

I feel the tear roll down my own cheek and Maura's hand brushes it away. Shouldn't I be the one comforting her?

"Why're you crying?" Maura makes an attempt at being lighthearted "surely I should be the emotional mess?"

"You're not a mess" I tell her firmly, I want to try and help her. I need her to stop this, I couldn't bear it if I lost her..

"Jay, I am-"

I take her wrists into my hands and squeeze softly, to my surprise she doesn't pull away "You aren't a mess. Maura, listen to me- you're so perfect, beautiful, inside and out. You're my idea of perfect. I don't care how often I have to tell you but I'll do it as much as you need me too.. You're not even close to a mess. It's just difficult right now"

She's crying again and I manage to brush away her falling tears

"You're so sweet Jane.. but there's no way you think I'm perfect"

My hand threads through her hair "I do. Maura, this is probably a bad time to tell you this but I-I really care about you"

"But why?" she asks me and I smile and shrug, genuinely unsure on how these feelings for my best friend came about but they did

"You're just.. everything. Everyday you look so beautiful all the time, you're so kind to everyone- even if they're crappy to you, it all blows over your head and you just act so kind. Maura you may have problems that you've had to carry alone but please, I'm here for you. Let me be"

"Please, I need you"

I hug her again, cherishing the feeling of her body pressed to mine "and I'm here Maur, always. I love you"

I haven't realised I've said it until her surprised eyes meet mine but then after a few seconds she smiles and buries her head against my neck "Love you too Jane"


End file.
